In The Book of Dreams, Haytham El Wardany writes, “Sleep makes the past present as though it happened differently. Former lovers haunt us and the dead return as ghosts. Sleep revisits them, without healing over ‘the wound’ of their absence. Others collect in deep recesses from which they may return only decades later, warped beyond recognition.”

Dream: Standing close with L in the bathroom, face to face, hugging, light kissing. I feel her bony shoulders and clavicles. She’s in her heels and, and so, taller. She is happy and laughing. I tell her, Call or text me any time. Please.

Dream: I’m awake texting M to meet up, because she’s still my girlfriend. Other girlfriends are real too. I should make plans with them as well. Then I realize it happened in the past. But a part of my heart remains with all of them. Like R. Part of me is always with her and vice versa.

Dream: Courtney Taylor snuggles up and offers her large, round, luscious, fake boobs.

Dream: A super hot version of A in a slinky dress is flirting with me like crazy. She slides next to me at my desk which is also a bed. Slips under the blanket that covers us both and we make out. But I’m embarrassed because it’s the office of my new job. People are looking. Two older executive men come over. They want some of this A action and they’re not afraid to do it in front of others.

Dream: L returns: Lying prone, by my side, her elbows pinned behind her back. Her lips mouth into mine the shapes and sounds of DDLG baby talk. This filters to kisses and then to the unknowable place where sound evaporates into moisture.

Dream: Compact in stature, tarted-up in heels and make-up, the hot milfy businesswoman is all over me. She sidles up to me at the restaurant table. We grab each other.

Dream: I wake up in a hotel bed, realizing I have to run home to grab some cash because… lying beside me is M. Adorable cute sex worker M. Smiling with her pink cheeks and giant eyes, ready to fuck. This feels like a very positive premonition. 

Dream: At an art event, E sidles up to me. S looks on from far across the room. E’s body is compact, soft. She curls around me. I feel vaguely guilty about enjoying this, but she encourages it.

Anal sex dream. She is face-down, pushing her tiny butt up. Once I slide my cock in it gets good. She is M, or R, or one of those “little butts.” 

Dream: L returns in full force. After expelling one of her apocalyptic orgasms, she scoots above me and offers her boobs. The lotioned softness. The crinkly implant rippling under skin. The nipple for suckling. She moans in pleasure and I slurp it.

Dream: More encounters with lit hotties: This time it’s P from London! We cuddle in the corner during the reading, her legs touching …opening …allowing my hand to scoop the wetness. She gasps “I’m cumming!” and I feel her cunt contract and throb. She goes for my cock… puts it in her mouth. It is extra thick!! But w pink and black vitiligo colors and mushroom shapes. Hawt and weird! At times she morphs into C, the book reviewer. Both women share my archetype and emanation: Shortish black hair. Eyes that deeply peer. I wake up fucking hard.

Dream: You know how, in the Haunted Mansion, there are those concave busts whose eyes follow you? Well I am in an enormous version of the Haunted Mansion, and instead of those ghost busts, there is a giant concave statue of woman’s thighs and pussy…. Complete with luscious clit. The entire sculpture is off-white marble. Inside this inverted sculpture is the spirit of the woman herself… Cooing, she invites me to eat her out.

Dream: …I’m with E. Just us 2. She’s seated in a bare chair facing me. Hands behind her back. When I call her baby she responds. When I call her bitch she really responds. Tears form. Tears that say she needs it. I announce I’m going to “punish” her. She must ask for permission to cum.

Dream: Very sexy reunion with L. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her things. But mostly I want to eat out her delicious cookie. I can still taste it.

Dream with L. She enters at the end. Sitting in my passenger seat. She sings/says, “Everything I’ve lived, I learned to love.” Or “Everything I’ve learned, I’ve lived to love.” And it is another example of her mistress/guru, wise/optimism in the face of adversity.

Dream: Who makes an erotic appearance but… R. First in a cluttered bedroom, she rises to leave and now I see her dressed in super hot outfit. Her long legs in stockings. We walk into the living room of my current house. For some reason my brother is there. I awkwardly introduce them before realizing they’ve met before. R and I move to the front door. She wants cock. She gropes under my pants somehow. (They’re very baggy or have become a skirt/hospital gown) She wants to suck. But first she wants to rim me and use her mouth on my balls. A slutty tongue bath. 

Dream: For the first time ever, surprisingly, S joins the whirlwind of lovers. I wait for her to arrive to our rendezvous in a suburban bedroom. I’m playing a recording she left for me. Sexy whispers of daddy daddy daddy daddy and then indecipherables. Is it some kind of sound art? I wait for her arrive but the whole scene changes. She becomes a he and is grumpy and refuses to explain.

Postscript: The term cathexis is used to describe an investment of libidinal energy in an object or an idea. Examples of cathexis may include sentimental attachment to a keepsake, family heirloom, a photograph, or… a dream.