I hope I can trust you to tell the world that I unironically invented Cum Punk. 

I unironically meant every word.

I unironically meant every drop.

–Kum V, Saint Valentine’s Day 2025

The day Cum Punk was invented, I had my first squirting orgasm. 

The week Cum Punk was invented, spring had sprung, and the cum trees (stink pear) bloomed. 

The weekend I started editing Cum Punk, a 27-year-old virgin came all over me. Probably the most cum I’ve ever seen in one shot.

Now cummertime’s here, kiddies! 

Cummer 2025 has been the wettest on record. 

What does that mean? Rainbows galore! 

Rainbows shooting loads of black tar cum whose essence is liquid gold!

It’s a Wet Hot American Cummer, baby.

Cummer of 69, an endless cummer. 

Cummertime, and the livin’ is sleazy.

Long live the Cummer of Love!

–Kum V, Cummer 2025